Ultimately each of us and every living entities looking to Genuinely Love some and be Loved by someone forever. It is our internal births rights to Love and be Loved forever. It is possible only if we relish Loving relationship at least with someone. Please, let us try to do our best from our side to develop our relationships up to level of Genuine Loving relationships with our Beloved ones.
Sage Narada Muni about our material word say: “In that kingdom, there is a river flowing in both directions” (Srimad Bhagavatam 6.5.6-16). This phenomenon we can see in our life and all around. In same external conditions someone reaching the highest perfection of life: power, wealth, fame, beauty, knowledge, renunciation etc and someone else in same external conditions go on and on increasing and increasing our insatiable, greedy desires for material sense gratification and end up dissatisfied, empty, stress-out, with broken heart and damaged our health and unfulfilled relationships with family members, parents, friends, business partners etc. We tried our best and end up nowhere. And now we are even lousing face to ourselves and to be able achieve Supreme Success even by paying for that with our Happiness, relationships, wealthy, healthy, fame, beauty etc.
How we can flow up, not down in this river of material existence? Mainly our sincere attempt to practicing and developing eternal Healthy and Balanced life style, or Civilized Human Etiquette and Culture leads as reaching the highest perfections and achieve Supreme Success in our Human life, and finally stop the cycle of birth, death, old age and desises. On other hand, absence of Civilized Human Etiquette and Culture in our relationships leads as to go on increasing and increasing our greedy and unsatisfied desires for material sense gratification and end up dissatisfied, empty, stress-out, with broken heart and damaged our health and unfulfilled relationships with family members, parents, friends, business partners etc. All kind of relationships: friendship, family, community, country, nation, social or business organisation etc function under same natural laws – laws of development and degradation, knowledge offered in timeless spirituals scriptures like Bible, Koran, Bhagavat-Gita, Srimat-Bhagavatam etc. In short Civilized Human Etiquette and Culture mean development and absence of Civilized Human Etiquette and Culture mean degradation.
If in relationships one immediate externally jumps to degradation or development on topmost level is only exception. Generally, movement up and down are gradual process. Moreover, that for degradation or increasing of unhealthy mentality we need activities from and connection between both parties, senior-junior, older-younger, husband-wife, male-female, masculine-feminine, father-mother, Guru-Devotee, teacher-disciple, leader-servant, manager-clerk, boss-simple workers, guide-follower, active-passive, Sun-Moon, yan-in, main-subordinate etc. Like in the nuclear bomb for explosion there need connection between two – uranium and proton. In relationship, only one party cannot degrade by itself. In contrary for relationships development, improvements enough with one party’s consisting endeavours to harmonize and develop present situation in relationships. After ones party consciousness endeavour in relationship development, opposite party changing by itself, do to natural law of reflection and attraction. Relationship development requires at least ones party conscious endeavour, practise Civilized Human Etiquette and Culture in these relationships, humbleness, patients and tolerates, then during course of time development of relationships are guarantee.
Degradation can only be reduced if at least one party acknowledge our own errors, faults and consciously endeavour to change our consciousness and activities. Sincerely study and practise Civilized Human Etiquette and Culture. Then at 1st degradation speed slow down and 2nd slowly changing direction from degradation to development and 3rd increase step by step development and improvement of any kind of relationships: friendship, family, community, country, nation, social or business organisation etc because all relationships functions under same internal law – law of development and degradation. For development and improvements we need consciously develop needful consciousness, character, actions, knowledge and austerity.
Minimal requirements for relationships development:
1. One party voluntary at least little bit, in some extent, acknowledge our own faults and voluntary take responsibility about our relationships present condition.
2. One party voluntary acknowledges that could be opposite party right now are correct and not making any faults or errors in our relationships.
For study and practical application 8 levels of degradation and development are described in two tables below. (See same two tables in more width display.)
1st table: Senior and Junior attitude, mode, activities and that summary consequence.
|Senior attitude, mode, activities (S) – older, husband, male, masculine, father and daughter, guru, teacher, leader, manager, boss, owner of business, guide, active start point, Sun, yan, main||Junior attitude, mode, activities (J) – younger, wife, female, feminine, mother and son, devotee, disciple, servant, clerk, simple workers, follower, passive hanger-on, Moon, in, subordinate||Summary: Prominent mode of nature (M) | Regulative principles of freedom (RP) | And more detail descriptions about more prominent situation of particular level of degradation or development. Inner and external consciousness, mood, feelings, thoughts, actions, movements in any kind of relationships, because all kind of relationships: friendship, family, community, country, nation, social or business organisation etc because all relationship functions under same internal laws – laws of development and degradation.|
|S unite all characteristic under one supreme characteristic – Supreme Pure Love, Unconditional Love, Agape, Prema Bhakti||J act and live actively with S, Equals and J in five direct mellows of relationships: neutrality, servitude, friendship, parental affection, conjugal love||Transcendental level, beyond birth, death, old age and disease, liberation from round of samsara, pure consciousness, beyond material consciousness, beyond I-Me-My etc. Tune in with laws of nature and surrendered to Absolute Truth. In theist language stable level of Supreme Pure Love with Supreme Personalities of Godhead and all living entities. United with others by any means to devotionally serve Supreme Personalities of Godhead in one of five main, direct mellows of relationships: neutrality, servitude, friendship, parental affection, conjugal love and occasionally in one of seven indirect mellows, known as laughter, wonder, chivalry, compassion, anger, disaster and fear.|
|0 – Initial||material level|
|S are know and following very clear to his mission, mood, aims and regulative routine. S respect appreciates and guides the J, harmonise and adjust his individual mode and activities with Absolute Truth and society mode and activities – time, place, and situation.||Each and every J follower knows, understood and voluntary follow the S mission, mood, aims and orders. Each and every J respect, appreciates and follow the S, harmonise and adjust his individual mode and activities with S, Absolute Truth and society mode and activities.||Pure goodness M and/or goodness M | 4 RP (no drags, no meat eating, no gambling and no sex) | Naturally, all parties follow to Civilized Human Etiquette and Culture. Every things look like “all right” and same time material nature working under the law birth, death, old age and disease. In material nature, in material conciseness everything degraded by itself. For that even to stay on initial level we need to use our endeavour and activities, follow Civilized Human Etiquette and Culture. Preventions are easier and cheaper then cure.|
|1 -||material level|
|S losing faith to present mission, aims and J decries there pervious respect appreciates, subordination and ability to listen S||J more often didn’t do their duties properly and in J mind are dwelling flickering thoughts, carelessness in attitude and actions||Goodness M plus slight passion M | 3.5 RP (start restricted sex life) | Consciously all parties try to follow to Civilized Human Etiquette and Culture.|
|2 –||material level|
|S more often express aggression and slowly disappearing morality and loosing heart voice and proper Civilized Human Etiquette and Culture||J losing faith, trust and chastity to the S, J and S progressive sallow character and J more often hides their own thoughts, dreams and more often feels offended||Decreasing goodness M and increasing passion M | 2.5 RP (start use means with increasing bewilderment, foolishness and madness: tea, coffee, tobacco, alcohol, drugs etc)|
|3 –||material level|
|S becoming more often miser, greedy, making his own savings for his own needs outside of present relationships||J more often telling half-truth, lies, manufacturing his selfish benefits out present relationships||Prominent passion M plus slight ignorance M | 1.5 RP (using drugs, gambling, restricted sex) | In do of increasing enjoyment, independence and “so call democracy”, can be looks like situation improving in relationships – but that is due to bewilderment. This situation can be named: “Excite before death”. This is quiet unsteady state and quickly situation will move up or down in level.|
|4 –||material level|
|S becoming more hardhearted, more raft, showing emotional and physical aggressiveness up to real emotional and physical aggression||J growing jealousy, backbiting, blaming others, gossiping, low self stem, moraines, lamentation and publicly washing his own and others “dirty underwear”||Grows passion M and increasing ignorance M | 0.5 RP (using drugs, gambling, restricted sex) | From this degradation level harmonizing process back to initial level optimistically can teaks up to 5-8 years. In this level more vastly growing calamities: crime, stealing, dacoit, rape, way to untimely death. Growing envy, conflicts and attachments to opposite party faults and errors.|
|5 –||material level|
|S more and more often expose emotional and physical aggressiveness||J wrong and harsh language, shouting with bad words||Decreasing passion M and increasing grows ignorance M | Living by whimsical regulative principles or law of jangle|
|6 –||material level|
|S and J receiving deadly diseases, cancer, hard attack etc. Up to unexpected fast death||J and S developing mood, character, consciousness and activities of robber, prostitution, necromancy, etc.||Increasing grows ignorance M | No at all any conches laws or regulative principles | In any level, even in this level, if we are finally start genially looking for help, surrender and serve with devotion to respected, trustful, kind, compassionate well-wishers, teachers, gurus, Absolute Truth etc we can rise up step by step.|
2nd table: Physical, Mental, Professional and Social health in 8 levels
|Stages of disease manifestation by Ayurveda | Physical health aspects – subtle and grows material body. In aspect of community, country, nation, social or business organisation etc this is land, property, physical recourses etc.||Emotional health aspects – intimate relationships, feelings, mood etc of individuals and between individuals in any kind of relationships: friendship, family, community, country, nation, social or business organisation etc.||Professional health aspects – wealth, power, job, business activities etc.||Social health aspects – sociality, religious and social welfare activities etc.|
|T -||Spiritual level||Transcendental||level|
|In this level we are beyond body conception of life and we are equipoise in heat and cold, in happiness and distress etc||Feel uninterrupted pure unconditional Love, blissfulness in any kind of emotional relationships.||We are now completely satisfied, and we have full faith in the laws of nature, Absolute Truth, Supreme Personality of Godhead mercy. Therefore we maintain our self with whatever comes of its own accord.||Fulltime engaged in devotional service with determination , mind and intelligence fixed on Absolute Truth.|
|0 -||material level|
|Internal material law: birth, death, old age and disease already here | Generally in this level are not physical discomfort, disease etc||If in these relationships one of party comes in mind flicker thought, “opposite party could be better”, “I expected better relationships from other party”. Than from that initional thought we fall down on next degradation level.||Wealth not at all issue on this level. Do to pious activities, inheritance, destiny, past karma, previous work etc here enough wealth itself or by little work.||On this level generally we are engage in devotional service, social welfare work etc without selfish motives.|
|1 -||material level|
|Disease accumulation in subtle body. | Time by time we can feels subtle discomforts in physical body.||More and more often visible excite, hurry and tight relationships. Gradually disappearing gratitude and appreciation towards Absolute Truth, God, opposite party and surrounding.||Generally, wealth not a problem on this level, but time by time it can be need take care of it by some adjustments or little work.||On this level generally we are engage in devotional service, social welfare work etc with some kind of selfish motives: fame, prestige, power etc.|
|2 -||material level|
|Disease aggravation in subtle body | More often we can feels subtle discomforts in physical body.||Decreasing self-respect and good luck. Parties in present of another party start crack unhealthy jocks and backbiting speech. Expressing to others compliments on material/bodily/sexual background and start flirting with others partners and paramours. Becoming more difficult to carve destructive emotions in present of opposite party.||Work for wealth become more and more prominent.||On this level generally we are engage in social welfare work etc with selfish motives: fame, prestige, power etc. Pure devotional service gradually disappear from our day to day activities.|
|3 -||material level|
|Disease migration from subtle body to physical body | Our physical discomforts, pains etc become more and more prominent and often. Generally we do not care for that, bat even if we are visiting modern science doctors, there cannot put real diagnosis.||Parties will go on increasing and increasing their insatiable and greedy desires for material enjoyment. Increasing untruthfulness, untrustfulness, and unspoken thing and situation are been try making nicer by not telling things and lying.||We are working like ass for wealth long and hard hours. Generally we are working in order to have senses enjoyment in future, but when we have wealth, we do not have time actually to enjoy the senses.||Even if we are doing some kind of social activities, generally our motive for that is to get more and more wealth, power, fame, prestige etc.|
|4 -||material level|
|Disease taking shelter in a places of physical body | Our physical discomforts, pains etc become part of day to day life. Generally we try go to different doctors, bat modern science doctors cannot put real diagnosis. Vastly increasing intoxications, alcoholism, dissatisfactions, worry, harry, lay, insecurity, fear, aggression etc.||Such kind of family, community etc practically do not have any hope improve situation without help from outside. In parties growing belief: “I am absolute good, right and innocent party. In over problematic relationship only guilty opposite party, who making me innocent to suffer”.||A greedy person accumulates a large quantity of money with great struggle and pain, but the person who has struggled so much to acquire this wealth is not always allowed to enjoy it himself or give it in charity to others. No matter how carefully one hides his hard-earned wealth or tries to protect it, there are those who are expert in detecting the whereabouts of valuable things, and they will steal it.||On this level we are generally engage in fanatical, sectarian, destructive etc social work, where we try to help our so call friends by destroying, killing, putting down our imaginary so call enemies.|
|5 –||material level|
|Disease symptom manifestation in physical body | Our physical discomforts, pains etc on each step become really destructive. Now modern science doctors can diagnosis many type of painful illness and recommend one bay one cut of or replace our physical organ.||More and more losing: hopes, public respects, wheals, properties, health, well-wishers, friends etc. Generally in this level we start looking for outside help from different specialists: doctors, physiotherapists, priests etc||Generally, on this level we are losing any kind of jobs, savings, contacts etc. Even, if we somehow or other still get something, that come in long time by extremely hard labour, and finally someone can snatch, steal, take away by force etc it from us.||In this level generally we are rejected by noble sociality. And then we can seek shelter under antisocial, aggressive, destructive etc groups.|
|6 –||material level|
|Increasing grows demonical, cruel life style, more and more experiencing deadly calamities: killing, plundering, suicide, destroying whatever bean left up to final disappeared and death.||We are extremely lonely, fearful, abuse, destroyed and victim by all kind of calamities.||Generally we are extremely penniless and victim by all kind of calamities||In this level we are event exploited, abuse, rejected by an antisocial, aggressive, destructive etc gr|
Practical recommendations for Development of Relationships on our website:
Four Principles of Community Building
8 questions to our self or 8 steps to overcoming mental and physical offences
Category Archives: Relationships